As the time draws nearer and I can almost count the weeks on one hand I am beginning to get anxious about my decision, especially when I think of what I am leaving behind...
My house. When I think about the fact that I won't be coming home to my house for quite some time makes this decision a little harder. I adore the house I live in. I feel very lucky sometimes when I drive in my drive way and see the beautiful house and colourful garden I have occupied for 25 years. I have so many memories of my garden from playing in the treehouse, playing rotten egg with my neighbours, the countless parties outdoors, to recent times of chasing Nancy around it.
Inside I am going to miss things like baking cheesecakes in my kitchen, my bedroom and my cosy bed and some of the clothes I am leaving in my wardrobe (jokes). Materialistic things aside. Its not what I am going to miss, its who...
Friends. You know when people say " I have the best friends in the world!", well, I do. Ranging from the friends I see every few days here in Cork to the ones dotted across the world. They are all so special. I am very blessed to have a close group of girl friends that I have known about 13 years. We have been through a lot together, from moves to different counties to moves over seas and to this day if I go a week without seeing some of them I get withdrawal symptoms. I love how close I am to some of them, so much so that I can walk into one of their houses without knocking and I am made feel like a family member right away.
This weekend it going to be a tough one for me and one of my friends as we realised that its our last weekend together before I go away. Some of them are jetting off to New York and Las Vegas for a few weeks ( I am very jealous but I better get use to seeing pictures of them having fun without me). As one of them won't be back by the time I leave, we are going to make the most of our last weekend together. Each and every one of them have different qualities, strong minded, brave, caring, funny, hard working, that's what makes them so special.( ye can fight among yourselves girls over which qualities ye think ye have). They have been so encouraging and supportive about me moving and although I will be devastated leaving them behind, I know nothing will have changed when I return.
Family. As I go to write this I am already finding it difficult to put into words how much I will miss my family.
My Dad, As I blogged about the quality time I spent last week with my dad before I depart, you were made aware that I don't see him as often as I would like, however I am hoping that as he travels a lot, Toronto may be somewhere he visits a few times :-) Every time I spend time with my Dad he spoils me rotten. He is such a generous, hard working man and a big softy at times. Not knowing the next time I see him is very hard but one thing is for sure, I will always be his little girl.
Nancy. Oh dear. Little Nancy, I currently can't see what I am typing as my eyes are welling up. How am I going to leave my favourite little two year old behind? I think when it comes to thinking about saying bye bye to my little niece, I crumble, My fear is of missing out on so much of her growing up and the thought that she will forget about me. Nancy, I think has been the best thing that has happened to our family, She has brought so much laughter, madness and excitement into our house and has two of the proudest parents in the world. I will just have to Skype her all the time so she remembers what I look like.
My sister. " There is only two of us Zita J, you and me, So you can't go forever! OKAY?" That's what my sister, Cathy, said to me when I told her I was moving, and she's right. There is only two of us so I know it will be hard on both of us, There is something really great about having an older sister, Firstly, you can argue with a sister and within 10 minutes ye can be laughing at something ridiculous. Secondly, you always have someone to look up to no matter how old you get. At the risk of sounding extremely cheesy, my sister is my inspiration. She fascinates me sometimes the things she gets done. She runs a very successful blog and business Turquoise Flamingo, Along with numerous other ventures such as Oh Me Oh My Diy and a little bird told me. She does all this while being a full time hands on Mum to fabulously crazy toddler. She really is a true inspiration, not only to me but to many others I'm sure.I know saying bye to her and her little family will not be easy
My Mum. So how do you leave behind your best friend? I don't know and honestly I'm dreading it. Myself and my Mum have a fantastic relationship. We chat and gossip just like I would with my friends. She is young both in her looks and at heart.( hope the genes carry over). When I officially decided I was moving, we cried, then laughed that we always cry and then cried again. She is the most amazing woman I know. She is caring, understanding, strong, emotional ( I wonder where I get it from), brave and very stylish.( a MILF as some would say). I am not a mother but the only comparison I can think of to understand how my mum might feel is how I feel when I see the children I work with grow up and move on. I know its on a much smaller scale but its hard watching children you have taught, worked so hard with and cared for so much move on and face the big bad world. So for mums who watch their children move across the world, I can't imagine how they feel and how my poor mum with her tiny little head feels about the next five weeks that are quickly approaching.
Can you see how I have days were I feel anxious about my new adventure when I think about what I am leaving behind?
Talk soon xx
Zita J
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